she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
