After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
