i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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