FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
