Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry pennsyltucky hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(703): View more from Virginia

in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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(+06): View more from

We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it

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(289): View more from Ontario

Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.

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(512): View more from Texas

I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway

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