Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
