I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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