i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
