I didn't shave. On purpose
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
