Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My vagina is officially offended.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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