got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I deserve this hangover.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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