Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
