ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
