I will die if light touches me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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