wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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