He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
