I love black thongs
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
