Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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