Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
