he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
