i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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