4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
