There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize