I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
