I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Vodka?
Forever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
