we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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