I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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