you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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