I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize