you win again, gameday.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
