So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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