You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
