READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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