I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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