absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
