why do cheetos always look like penises
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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