dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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