everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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