...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
