I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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