By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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