i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
