Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize