im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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