Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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