she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
