Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize