Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
