She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize