can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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