i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize