he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize