he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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