i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm always down for nudity.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
