he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
