those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
