You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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