I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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