is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
